We are the Home We Build | Poetry Breakdown

We dream of traversing the unknown,
to lay our memories upon them and being able to call them ours. 
We dream of floor to ceiling bookshelves,
sculpted seats suited for comfortable silences,
sunlight streaming and reaching every dark corner. 
We dream of erupting joyous giggles and thumping feet
exploring the vast rooms throughout the home
hand in hand in hand in hand,
a continuation of generational love. 

And I cannot wait for the day when blisters form
on our palms from hammering each nail one by one,
until our house becomes a home. 

You, my darling, are my rock.
You make my heart beat and my blood rush.
My lungs expand with your breath of fresh air. 
You make my words come alive –
my muse, my ink, my light. 
You are my home – 
your welcoming arms, 
your sturdy foundation,
and the safest I’ve felt compared to anywhere else –
your rhythmic, passionate, soulful heart. 

A Tug on My Heart | Poetry Breakdown

From the moment I set my eyes on you,
to the words I spoke to you last night,
there still remains a tug in my heart
that has captivated and intrigued me from the beginning.

Your ability to feel so deeply and so painfully
matched my unshakable desire to reach out to anyone and everyone.
I don’t know anyone who wanted to hide from his goodness
as much as you. Someone who refused to take name to his
good intentions because of how the world has corrupted everyone else.
I felt it quake in my soul,
whispering that I must aid and protect this man.

Your drive to accomplish and grow,
how you pushed, how you moved, how you made sure you made it
even though it might mean giving it all away.
I saw this fire within you and saw the scorch marks
from how everyone who tried to extinguish it and
gently offered oil and wood ensuring that no one puts it out again.

Despite how far you reached, you always made sure you came back to me
and made sure my heart was thoroughly being protected
with your gentle hands and kind eyes.
No words are needed to express the deepness we feel for each other
because our hearts our tugging with each other, for each other.

The Shape of Today | Poetry Breakdown

Hello everyone!

I hope you had a wonderful and warm Christmas!

The Shape of Today

I think about your past a lot, mainly about
the ones you’ve held in your arms and whispered
precious secrets into their ears.
Their breaths would catch and they would vow,
“I will never be like that.”
Lo and behold, years later you hold broken vows
and a shattered conscience.

I think about my past a lot, mainly about my primitive years
and my yearning for the comfort and the extravagant at the same time.
I would happily say “I’m doing well!”
when I wonder how much pain I can give to myself before I disappear.
I’ve felt the wounds, the sharp stabbing pain and I vowed,
“No one shall ever feel this again.”

All around us, people are loudly declaring their love for one another
with long, scrolling paragraphs on Instagram and a shining ring
nestled inside a velvet box.
Singers belt out a catchy tune about the sexy bod they saw at the club
and the desire to feel all the curves and edges.
But the next thing we know, relationship statuses rock and roll
and papers start getting signed.
Now singers’ top charts are the ones warning about people
who will only toss you a lure and nothing else.

I think about our future a lot and whether or not we even deserve
to be conjoined in our or together.
Would our hands continue to be clasped or am I going to join the list of broken vows?
As much as I long for a title to swaddle myself in,
we would only end up falling away into a void
of more brokenness because of
the very things that broke us
now shape us today.

This poem is about a relationship I’m involved in. Talking about my life isn’t something I’m comfortable with, but I love still to write. To me, writing helps guide me through the challenging points in my life, especially with organizing my thoughts. I’m perfectly capable of writing a piece that romanticizes all the wonderful moments of my life, but I prefer to be honest with you and myself. And this relationship is a challenging one not because of the person, but because of the circumstances that surround us.

I had originally titled this piece to be “Letters to my lover” because I wanted it to seem like I was speaking directly to him. Yes, I don’t talk very flowery, but it was supposed to contain nuances where only we would understand, but still be relatable to you (the reader). The first stanza is about his past relationships and the second stanza is about my past with all my doubts.

The third stanza is a change in pace, like a step backwards. It’s supposed to have an envious tone in it because in my complicated situation, people are having idealistic relationships, which is something that we crave for, but we know what we’re doing is for the best of us as individuals and us as a whole. And the fourth stanza is going back and wondering about the future, but having an understanding where you can’t change the past, but you just move forward with it.

Let me know if you’re in a similar situation!

Thanks for reading!

Alice

Inherently Bad | Quick Piece

Note: This story contains images of crime, violence and grief/loss. If you are sensitive to these issues, I would suggest not reading this piece. Please read my Quick Piece Breakdown for further explanation. I wanted to give a warning because of what’s happening overseas.

We were watching our usual crime scene show with the faux blue and red flashing before our eyes as the police step out of their cars to face the crime scene. I looked at my girlfriend, Jolie, her eyes widening as the crime scene slowly unfolded with the shining red dripping from all corners of the room. Cue the credits and ending music as well as a loud groan from Jolie. “That was so good!” she said as she stretched, her beautiful hair cascading down her back. “I’m not sure if I can wait for next week!” I jumped up from the couch and started stretching with her, purposely bumping my arms into her. “Man, I’m so tired right now!” she yawned and sat on the floor. We sat together in silence, listening to the throbbing of our apartment complex. “Do you think people are inherently bad?” she said. I couldn’t see her face anymore, but something wavered in her voice. “That episode must’ve really gotten to you.” I said, feeling her breathing. She shook her head and got up to get ready for bed. By the time I finished getting ready, she was already fast asleep.

“What is it?” I called down the hall while rubbing the gunk out of my eyes. “What’s happening?” Loud pounding sounded at my door and when I cracked it open, a brisk morning breeze and two police officers met me. “Can I help you?” I mumbled. It was still too early for me to comprehend anything. “Mr. Berry, we have some unfortunate news.” the officer on the left said. I looked up at him and saw his eyes stern, but hurt. “You probably want to sit down for this.” I was still confused about what was happening, but I lead them inside where they perched themselves onto my couch. I sat in front of them and the next fifteen minutes were the worst moment of my life. They started off slow, but the story picked up pace as they explained to me that my dear Jolie set the neighbor’s house on fire, the neighbors who had just moved in and then burst into the house in an attempt to save them. They explained to me that they weren’t sure about her intentions, but they were sorry for my lost. As if their sorry would mean anything to me. As if they understood what it felt like to suddenly be devoid of my beloved. And as quickly as they had arrived, they left. The house fell silent, but the silence was so painful with the ringing in my ears, reminding me of Jolie.

It’s been a week since the incident. My beard has grown long and patchy, take-out boxes litter my floor with small biospheres starting to form. I read through the text messages last sent from Jolie for the thousandth time today. I can do whatever I want.

 

Mountaintop Sunrise | Quick Piece Breakdown

Mountaintop Sunrise

I wrote this piece at 3 in the morning when I was hit with a bought of insomnia. Surprise! I didn’t write about sleep. Instead, I wrote about a break-up in a relationship paralleled with rediscovery. When I was forming the story, I had no idea where I was going with it, but the more I wrote, the more direction I had.

Basically, this story follows a guy named Gabe who had recently broken up with his girlfriend and it really affected him. There was the questionable methods of if Gabe was going to try and win her back and as the story progressed,  he didn’t attempt to pursue her again since he recognized his faults in the relationship and doesn’t think that she would want him back. The story follows a series of flashbacks leading up to the decision of Gabe fulfilling Melly’s wishes to see the sunrise from the mountains. It’s a simple notion of being a couple and sharing dreams which was what separated them.

At the end of the story, Gabe hears a voice that could either be Melly or an indication of him moving on. To be honest, I wrote it with Melly in mind.

I really enjoyed writing this piece because not only was it very emotional, it was a good balance between plot, dialogue and description. I built up more on this story based on my experience with a mountaintop sunrise. Last summer, I had the chance to go to Acadia, Maine with my family and climb Cadillac mountain and watch the sun rise. We were at the same level of the sun rising so it was gorgeous.

A better view of the sunrise including the islands

Well, I hope you enjoyed this story!

Alice

 

Time Manipulation | Poetry Breakdown

Hello again!

Time Manipulation

In the dead of night, you find your thoughts living life
more than you ever desired.
It becomes so vivid and tempting
that you reach out your hand and try to
form it yourself, but it just slips through your hand.

In the midst of class, you find your motions
echoing how many minuets are left of the eighty minuets.
It feels like a lifetime, but it will always remain a snippet.
No danger has ever scratched the surface of your ticking life
except the seemingly lost information – in through one ear and out another.

In the fluid motion of being near you,
my steps seem to echo through the empty streets
and our laughter illuminates the street lights.
Yet, I find myself trailing behind –
afraid of being sucked in and losing my life
even though time is moving
just as it feels.

First of all, I’m sorry for no poem last week. It was my birthday! 🙂 Also, if you’ve seen my last post, then I’ve mentioned that I’ll start to queue my posts rather than writing them the day they’re scheduled because of my crazy schedule. Keep my accountable!

Now, this poem is shorter than my previous poems. I’ve noticed that with repetitive phrases, after three, it will stop making an impact. I’m pretty satisfied with the three stanzas and they communicate the meaning of the poem well.

The first stanza is about dreams. Have you ever had a dream that was so good that you just wanted to keep sleeping and continue it, but once you realized that you were dreaming, you start to wake up? This is basically what it’s about – the frustration of your dreams being better than reality. With time as the theme, time is going against the narrator. The second stanza is about being in class (yes, I’m writing another blog post in class again). Often times, you’ll be in class and you feel like time is dragging like hours has gone by but it’s only a small portion of your life. You’re just not at your best interest to be at complete focus even though what you’ve learned will be later retained, but time isn’t on the narrator’s side again – it feels slow.

The final situation is about an impactful interpersonal relationship and how time seems to stop because I don’t name any evidence of other people being with them. It’s a pleasant moment, but instead of time being the barrier, it’s the narrator being fearful of getting too close. Now, it’s up to you to interpret the situation in the final paragraph and it does relate with me (as all my other writing does) but that’s all I’ll say. 😉

Anyways, thanks for reading!

Alice