The Beasts of the Grey | Poetry Breakdown

Hello everyone,

I hope this summer has been good to you so far!

The Beasts of the Grey

“I swear, it’s that squeaking fan.”
she mutters, glaring down the rotating metal,
clanking and blowing cool air around the room, yet
for some reason her mind remains hot and unsettled.
Down the street, she hears trucks driving
from point A to
point B with the latest summer hits, hotter than the summer sun
but her envious heart feels as cool as the end of Christmas.

Blood drips from her nose and she leaps to a start.
“What in the world! Why is my nose bleeding?”
The bright red color illuminating all life shakes her to the core
as she’s reminded of her origin story,
starting from two into a beautiful unification to multiplication.
She stares at the veins crisscrossing on her hands and
wishes she could see the blood racing around like messengers.
All she feels is the startling pulsating
and the quietness of her soul
and the words, stuck.

Thunder strikes the sky in frightening allure,
the roar quickening the pulse housed in her chest.
Her eyes remain glazed, glossy, gilded with a sheer covering of
tears, the supposed material of renewal.
Lightning flashes across the city, catching her eyes
as she looked for where it came from and all she could see
was a sea of grey, ominous and looming.
She wonders after a spark of color finally floods her fears,
drowning them and wiping them afresh.
“Where are the whales that swim in this sea?”

If you got a sad connotation from this poem, then you’re on the right track. This poem is meant to give off the vibe of helplessness in the ordinary, but with struggled attempts to better things. For those who have been reading my works, you’ll know that there is always a line where I tie everything together and oftentimes, that line is the spark of hope even in a sadder poem.

Basically this poem’s motive is to inspire getting out of a lackluster situation, specifically loneliness. We’ve all dealt with loneliness before ranging from you’re walking by yourself to being at a party, but finding no one you could relate with. With the narrator in the poem, she seems to be pretty trapped within herself especially with the act of pulling herself together. There are bought of frustration (the squeaking fan) and distractedness, yet in the end, the color comes back to life.

In the first stanza, it’s obvious that she’s envious of people traveling and doing things, but with the second stanza, she starts to ground herself and finds perspective in remembering who she is and where she came from. I took it literally and wrote about conception, the origin of life. And in the third stanza, the narrator is literally startled into a new state of thinking, breaking free.

This leads onto the title of the poem, The Beasts of the Grey. It’s meant to be a double entendre with the mention of the whales at the end of the poem and the “beasts” that can be anything that troubles you and the “grey” would be the mind. The main focus of the poem are those “beasts” that live in the “grey”, which often times we choose to hide instead of dealing with.

I hope you enjoyed the poem!

Alice

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Concerto | Poetry Breakdown

Hello everyone,

I hope you’re doing well.

Concerto

We draw our bows across the strings
and the cadenza echoes through the hall.
Silence falls.
One breath.
And applause.

I stand to take a bow among my teammates
like we have conquered something within ourselves,
presenting it for you to see.
The weight on my shoulder melts off
and all the sudden, the griping pains of rehearsal
fade into joy.

Winding corridors.
Bright lights and unfamiliar faces, but
not you
not here
not yet.
Crinkling flowers
Hugs and kisses
Selfies and congratulations
The latest gossip and if that guy who played the bass was hot.

There’s this loneliness after a concert
as I rejoin the regular, brandishing my weapon of choice
looking for the hero I saved through my persistent hard work.
There you are, beaming.
And my soul can finally rest.

I wrote this piece in honor of my concert that took place on Tuesday. If you didn’t know, I’m also a musician and I mainly play the violin. I’ve been playing the violin since I was in third grade, so about 13 years now and in college, I play the violin for the Symphony Orchestra which is amazing. There have been several times where I’ve teared up simply from the beauty of the music. So, I like to write about my musical experiences, but oftentimes I find that they’re indescribable.

After my concert on Tuesday, I was leaving the stage and felt this flood of loneliness which is odd because I should feel a sense of accomplishment. After a lot of thinking while meandering through the crowd, I came to the conclusion that throughout my musical career, I always had to wait for my loved ones after a concert. In high school, there would be some concerts that my parents couldn’t make so I would leave by myself. Sometimes parents would burst into the “waiting room” with flowers and collect their child, exclaiming “Great job! We’re so proud of you!” All around me, people would be talking and I would kind of be silent. I didn’t really have many friends and I typically kept to myself. I think I got used having to wait, but it doesn’t help that I see this celebration around me. Would I say that I’m jealous? Of course.

It’s a really bizarre feeling. From the adrenaline high of performing with the high concentration to make sure you don’t mess up to a strange sense of feeling lost in a building that you’re so familiar with — like everyone and everything became strange to you. Only until you see your parents or friends light up as they finally find you, the sense of accomplishment comes. Am I the only one to experience this? I don’t really enjoy this feeling because it really throws me off. I guess I won’t ever forget those lonely feelings, but I will always also remember those feelings when I was presented with flowers, asked for a picture and complimented. That embarrassing feeling is a good one.

Well, I wrote that poem about that confusing emotion and hopefully I’ve captured it and that you can somewhat relate as well.

Thanks for reading!

Alice

Walls & Plantae | Quick Piece Breakdown

Hello!

I hope you’re doing well! I’m sorry that I’ve been very consistent with the posts, but in this post, there will be two quick piece breakdowns.

Walls

This piece was written out of boredom. It was written about a month ago when I was in the midst of taking an intense summer class. In two weeks, you can get three credits, but that means that the class is four hours long. All I was doing during that time was going to class and spending the rest of the day on my laptop because I was so exhausted. Since it was technically summer vacation, most of my friends left the University. I was left to my own devices.

This piece epitomizes college life, but with a small twist. It starts out with the narrator spending the night in their apartment and hearing their neighbor’s party. There’s a hint of envy from the narrator whether it be because either they weren’t invited or because they were neighbors, the neighbor would have the sense to casually invite the narrator. The main emotion I wanted to resonate was loneliness. After a quick college meal, a pizza man delivers a pizza the narrator didn’t order to their door. On the note, it says Walls may seem to be like a barrier when they also provide structural integrity. Enjoy the pizza on me! From, your partying neighbor This means that while the wall between them is there, it can also be “broken” to build a better foundation. The neighbor not only bought the pizza for the narrator, but they invited them to the next party. The narrator chose to spend the night comfortably by themselves.

This story is a pretty simple story talking about the two main themes I usually write about, loneliness and friendship.

Plantae

This story was dedicated to my friend who requested that I write a story about a man named Karl who finds plants arriving at his doorstep and is determined to find out who’s leaving him these gifts. I found this request quite interesting, so I jumped on it. Also, the title is Latin for plant. Once again, this story is about friendship and loneliness. Would you say that they’re the opposite? Maybe I write about these themes because of my familiarity with it.

It starts with Karl receiving a succulent and getting berated by his neighbor, Betsy. Karl eliminates the possibility that Betsy could’ve been his plant giver because of the excuses she gives him. In the next segment, you can see that Karl is 100% comfortable with his plants to the extent of giving them names and talking to them. It also appears that he tags personality with the individual plants. It becomes obvious after it shows him actually having a conversation with his friend only to talk about plants. Then, Karl sets out to find out who has been leaving him the plants. In the beginning, I kind of made it clear that Karl is curious about who leaves him the plants, but since they’re too fast for him, he doesn’t make a bigger effort until his passion in finding a friend he can connect with better.

He pictures scenarios that would happen as time passes, but the plant giver doesn’t stop by yet. The plant giver stops by and Karl runs out of the door. I decided to add in the little bit with the blanket to give him more human qualities and to add more quirkiness. He finds out that his neighbor’s granddaughter named Kiki was the one who has been leaving him the plants. They quickly bond over their love for plants and Kiki explains that Betsy acts that way to him because of her jealousy in being able to care for plants. Kiki agrees to continue giving plants as well as form a friendship.

I had to admit that this story took some time because the idea wasn’t first formed by me, so I really had to embrace the characters and the setting. Since it was a little out of my comfort zone, I had to make sure that the plot flowed seamlessly, so there was some time when I was just sitting at my desk not really writing anything because I was thinking about where I wanted this story to go. My usual process for writing stories is to have a general idea and to just go with the flow. With this one, there was more planning and nudging involved and I’m happy with how it turned out. My friend was delighted after reading it. 🙂

I hope you enjoyed the stories and the analysis! Have a great day!

Alice

 

Walls | Quick Piece

I pressed my hand against the wall hearing the thudding European Dance throb through my palm. For a moment I was immersed in their party. I saw myself with a drink in one of my hands and happily conversing with someone, quickly befriending after witnessing a drunken girl suddenly falls on her face. Laughter explodes through the wall, startling me and sending me back to where I was. “Ah, it’s time for dinner anyways.” I muttered to myself and shuffled out of my room and down to the kitchen. I didn’t want to hear any more laughter because with each one, I find my soul being ripped to pieces. “Wow Roxy, way to be dramatic.” I muttered to myself as I furiously buttered my toast. I wasn’t even hungry, but I needed a distraction. I was about to head back to my room when the door knocked. I cautiously set my toast down and peered through the peephole. The pizza deliveryman stood outside of my door staring at the door next door. I eased my door open and asked, “Who are you looking for?” He turned towards me and looked me up and down, surveying my mismatched pajamas and stolen hotel slippers. “I’m here for Roxy. I’ve got a pizza with everything on it.” he said with a terrible monotone voice. I shifted my weight and leaned against the door frame. The savory smells of the pizza wafted through the bag and my mouth started to water. “I didn’t order any pizza, but I am Roxy.” I said. He sighed and his gaze drifted towards the party next door. “Well, it’s under your name and address so you might as well take it. I’ve got a lot more runs, so I can’t really play Sherlock with you.” he said as he shoves the pizza into my arms. I shut the door, still in shock and peer at the pizza. It smelled incredible and it started to flood my apartment with the amazing aroma. I checked the receipt and saw that it was under my name and address, but the phone number was different. On the bottom of the receipt was a note to the deliveryman, but it appeared to be for me. The mysterious pizza purchaser must’ve knew that I wouldn’t have ordered a pizza at this time so they included a note of explanations. Walls may seem to be like a barrier when they also provide structural integrity. Enjoy the pizza on me! From, your partying neighbor I couldn’t help but smile not at the shear fact that I got free pizza, but because my neighbor remembered me and even invited me. I sighed as I turned on the TV and took a slice of pizza just as laughter erupted from the walls again. “I’ll see what’s up next time, but I’ve got all night and all this pizza to enjoy. There’s no stopping me now!” I declared as the show started.