I always love it whenever I hear you laugh, a mix symphony of sparkle and personality because it means that whatever you’re holding onto under your breath is let go, just for a moment. Gone are the days where it’s filled with uncertainty. Unsure if your children will score high on a test. Gone are the days where it’s filled with monotony and dullness. Nervous that things will always be this way. Gone are the days of simply being there as disposal. Grimacing and sending a chill down your daughter’s spine.
Then you quickly dismiss the laughter claiming that what was funny was never funny. You don’t want to relive the fun. You move on and find yourself surrounded by a dark world, claiming that this is what you have to do. It’s as if you’re a pirate and you tell your crew to throw away the loot that you worked for. It’s as if you’re a wizard and you willingly give up your magic for no reason. It’s as if you’re a beautiful flower and you dismiss the compliments and say that you were ugly.
I wish you wouldn’t say these things about me. You tell me to take things more seriously. You tell me to stop laughing at everything when I had already resolved to laugh more. You tell me to act like an adult, dress like an adult and give proof that I am an adult besides the increasing number as each year goes by. And I call bullshit because I am just as valid as an adult just as I am whenever I explode with laughter, whenever I guffaw, whenever I squeal and giggle.
Studies have been proven that the more you laugh, the longer you live, so this is my lament to you.
Written: 1/10/17 8:18pm
Dedicated to my mother
Perpetual Ponderings of Alice Chen 