I’m waiting on that warm sunny day. If you have some, please send it over my way! 🙂
“You are incredible. Did you know that?”
the voice floated over to me and I looked up hoping to see
you, but it was just empty space.
It’s really annoying how I have to hold myself high
with an upright back and in-tuned ear.
Voices appear too ridged and bright,
like sugar was unwillingly pumped through their veins
just like the bags of gummy worms I eat to maintain my composure.
“Honey, honey, honey – what do you want to do for your life?”
I almost wanted to belt out and say,
“I want to stay alive, but there are too many things bringing me down.”
I know you’ll say that I shouldn’t let these things bring me down
and I’m stronger
and I’m better
and I can rise above.
But words are just words.
And words won’t be action
until you move your mind.
I am told in order to go with the flow,
you have to be someone you’re not,
copy what everyone else does
and you’ll flow faster.
They also tell you to just be yourself.
And I want to scream.
They tell you to know what you want resides in your heart.
And I want to cry.
They tell you to just do it and it will follow through.
And I want to destroy everything.
If plagiarism is the “wrongful appropriation” of something true,
does that mean I’m cheating plagiarism
for the sake of acceptance?
This poem took way too long to write! I remember waking up in the middle of the night with a poetic line running through my head, combined it with my angst and wrote a little draft. I would revisit my baby poem to nourish it and it kind of turned into an awkward teenager, but my words weren’t really mashing with what I felt, so I gave the poem a little break. I know you’re not supposed to leave a kid unoccupied, but you know, I needed it to get past the awkward teenage years and mature! The birth of a poem!
Essentially this is a rant to myself and to everyone who just fails to see me as who I am. There are literally so many contradictions to being a human and no one really reassures you and says that having contradictions is the exact thing of being human. You’re constantly being told to “be yourself” when people don’t accept you if you’re going to make a sassy remark. They’ll laugh politely and we’ll move on to conforming to societal standards. There are all these “requirements” and “timelines” that we have to make and it’s irritating because I can do things at my own pace.
In the first paragraph, the “you” can be someone who you can confide in without any filters and still feel good about yourself or that “you” can even be yourself. As you can see by the first sentence, that “you” isn’t there, leaving the narrator a little vulnerable and it ends up being all terribly sweet and fake. It’s always an ethical battle – be fake and have everyone accept you because you’re more “relatable” and “well-rounded” or do you be yourself and risk having a hard time finding a bond? At least I always find myself asking that question.
I hope you enjoyed my poem! Thanks for reading!