Under the Stars | Poetry Breakdown

Hello everyone,

I hope you’re doing well!

Under the Stars

I slip under the stars and listen to the
creaking floorboards, the breathing and aching of
the very old house.
My mind starts to fall quiet
and the stars softly whisper
“Sweet dreams.”

And with a start, I awake!
My soul clenches with every thought that passes through my mind.
Half closed eyes, half winning
the battle against sleep.
Apologies reverberate in my head
and the wind shouts,
“You have no worth!”

And I fall back under the stars
only with a clenched forehead
and a wish that you were next to me,
holding me close and gently whispering,
“It’s okay.”

Yes, this is a poem about sleep and insomnia. It’s one of those feelings of absolute loneliness that’s really striking and writing these poems and stories are like an “in your face!” moment to insomnia because I’ve made it to the morning.

On my phone, I have a list of moments and things people have said that I really liked and plan on using in my writing, so this poem was constructed out of two lines that randomly popped into my head. This time around, I didn’t force the lines into my poem, but as I was writing the poem, I noticed that that line would really work well. If you’re curious, the lines are half closed eyes, half winning/ the battle against sleep and Apologies reverberate in my head. To my fellow writers: having a space where you could store away your ideas quickly when they arrive really helps when you’re struggling with writer’s block or to avoid the moments of “oh man that was a good idea, but I can’t write it now what do I do!”

The basis of this poem revolves around sleep and waking. I wanted to make the first stanza feel like a general routine, but it gets interrupted by all these thoughts. Sometimes the cause for my insomnia was because something was still on my mind, but usually it’s because I wasn’t tired enough. Whatever the case of insomnia, it can be quite irritating. Oftentimes when you’re dealing with insomnia, it can be a very lonely feeling and all you want is someone to hold you and comfort you during this time when you feel the most vulnerable and lost.

I hope you enjoyed this poem!


PS. Sorry about not posting a quick piece/quick piece breakdown this week. It was 11pm when I tried to write a story and all that was coming out was good old middle school angst, not quality work.

PPS. This weekend, I’m going to be traveling for a kendo tournament/test, so expect a Journey to Kendo post sometimes soon!



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