I hope you’re doing well!
There was a thunderstorm in the morning
the crashing corresponding with the sun –
the beginning of a disaster.
There were our cold gazes in the evening
the iciness sending chills down our spines –
the beginning of discovery.
There was a torrential downpour in the afternoon
the earth drenched with the rain, trickling down slopes
and drowning the plants –
the beginning of life through strife.
There was another argument in the dark night
the chills sneaking up my back and shaking my hand
until I regretted the words that somehow slipped out of my mouth –
the beginning of skepticism.
There was sunlight through a snow storm
the rays rebounding off the flakes, temporarily
sending me spiraling in awe and blindness –
the beginning of bliss.
There was a gentle assurance of truth
the words strumming a seemingly missing chord in my heart
and I sang the songs of happiness for the first time in a while –
the beginning of loss.
There was a sight where you’re stopped in your tracks
because it reminded you of something
of some time
but now it’s lost.
You can try all you want to relive it, but
that moment will never be as pure as when it first occurred.
Like snap shots and recreations,
they’re only there ideally but never permanently.
This poem was constructed through heavy emotions and a draft of this poem. Since it was so emotional, I had to make sure what I wrote was coherent and not only contained my emotion, but was understandable to the reader.
Natsukashii: “a Japanese adjective referring to feelings of nostalgia for the past, sometimes with connotations of nostalgia for an idealized past that never was” I chose this word as a title after struggling for a while because it captures all of the feelings. All of these events occurred in the past and sometimes you find yourself dwelling on it. After some time, these moments loose their authenticity and become idealized which can either be a good or bad thing, depending on how you look at it.
I’m not really going to go in depth on the meaning of each stanza – I think they’re pretty self-explanatory and they’re also pretty personal to me. I am going to draw attention to my repetition of “the beginning of…” For the first couple of stanzas, that repetitive statement correspond with the events in the stanza until the fifth and sixth stanza. They’re meant to be jarring and shocking.
In the fifth stanza, I describe a snow storm with the sun’s ray s shining through the snowflakes and it’s very blinding and also seemingly contradictory. Because I cannot see, in a way, there is no worry of what could occur so I categorized it as bliss. In the sixth stanza, I describe an exchange of reassurance and the feeling of comfort, but at the end I write the beginning of loss because sometimes, things are too good to be true.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this poem!