On the account of love, we try and watch as many videos as we can to get a hold of love, to try and understand the complex emotion. They tell us that dopamine is in charge of it all and if a guy texts you first, that is love. I find myself looking at my phone to test this out but the results vary. I pick up romance novels and weigh them in my hand, joining in adventures about princesses and warriors fighting for their lovers. I look at myself, holding up my weak legs and flimsy arms and wonder if I am a hero to someone. I talk to strangers on the street, my best friends and my mother but they all give me the sly smile and whisper, “You’ll just know. Be patient. I know you’ll find that someone.” I nod and smile while fiddling my fingers. I tell myself to be patient, but I can’t help but gaze upon everyone and wonder if my fingers will slip in between theirs. I click through Thought Catalog articles in hope that someone out there sympathizes with me and somehow I find a secret manual on what to do next. Unfortunately, that’s never the case. I even attended the last psychology lecture that ends at 8pm about love. What I got was 15 extra credit points, an attempt to conceptualize it (scientists don’t even know how to) and I check my messages and breeze through my memories in attempt to nail the peg into the hole. On the account of love, I can say for sure that we desperately need it.
Written: 12/7/16 7:15pm (in psych class – we are most certainly talking about love 😛 )