Nevertheless | Poetry Breakdown

Hello everyone,

I swear, I say that I’ll write more since I have more time, but since I have more time, I find myself not writing. It’s a strange paradox, but here’s the overdue poem I promised. This piece is ironically fitting.

“Nevertheless”

There are times when I hate being a writer.
I wish I could donate my gift of
intuition and
quiet observation
so I wouldn’t have to subtly be aware of
my well-being around other people.

If I could simply exist
and breathe, seek and influence
without a second thought
of how things will fit together.
If there’s a stray symbol
or if there’s a hidden allegory
or I’m just playing with irony
or I’m making a pun
or maybe I’ll build up the exposition
so it will climax
just like a one night stand

It only lasts if you try hard enough
It’s based on your opinion
and as an artist,
all of my work is
the worst it can be

With each of my worst,
I see what could be done and saved
what could be added and colored in
and I make my absolute worst
into something bad

They tell me to try harder
but I’m not afraid of their voices.
They tell me that I can’t make a living and that I’ll starve
but I’m not afraid of their voices.
Instead, I find myself diligently echoing
their threats
and their pricks become
daggers when it flows from my pores.
And this time, there’s no shield.

Nevertheless, I am a writer.

This is an ode to artists, writers specifically. If you’re an artist whether you’re a writer or a visual artist, you know exactly what I’m talking about. There’s an nudge in our hearts to create, but people shoot us down because being an artist isn’t viewed as a real profession for some reason. Maybe it’s because all you do with art is look at it and then walk away. I beg to differ. I think art inspires and brings light to places where it lacks. I think art helps people change their perspective on the world. And I really believe that we are made to create since we were first created by an Artist.

We’ve all had our struggles as an artist. For me personally, it’s consistency. I love doing it, but keeping a routine among the busy and quick world, it’s difficult to do. To create something, you really need that atmosphere of reflective quietness and when the world is moving too fast, you get caught up in it and neglect your craft.

Further background to this piece was that I’m struggling with body image and naturally, I blamed it on myself. I just wanted to exist and not be so aware of everything around me. For example with regards to my negative body image perception, I wish I could pay no attention to the subtle hints the media is playing at us as well as the negativity I’m feeding myself. Maybe it’s part of my personality or part of my craft, but I find myself in tune with my senses. As you can imagine, it can be pretty problematic with things like body image and self-esteem. That’s what the first stanza was talking about.

In the second stanza, there’s a slight turn in the tone when it starts talking about all the literary devices. It could be taken as irony like the writer is talking about how these are so great when the writer is just tired of hearing these words repeated over and over again. It could also be taken as an appreciation like how these tools help the writing get its luster.

The third stanza connects with the previous line “just like a one night stand”. It’s purposely written ambiguously to mirror writing and a one night stand. To be honest, that’s an analogy I never thought I would make and I did it to add a different kind of dimension in the piece from my usual analogies. The next two stanzas really take a turn from the first stanza. It basically talks about how the pieces may be at their worst in the artist’s eyes, but it will be “less worse”. There is no good, but there is “not so bad”.

Finally, the last stanza directly addresses the artist naysayers. Basically it says, “You aren’t bringing me down!” This isn’t a “I will rise from their attacks.” Instead, it’s a “I’m going to absorb the negativity and use that energy to create.” And at the end, there’s a reassurance of my identity, a writer.

I hope you enjoyed this piece!

Thanks for sticking around!

Alice

 

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Reflective Space & Carpus | Quick Piece Breakdown

Reflective Space

Carpus

Sorry that it didn’t come in a week. Time caught up with me and it was already the following week. Instead, I’ve attached two breakdowns for the two pieces I’ve written.

Reflective Space

This story was written directed to people who struggle with their body image because I was feeling quite frustrated with myself. (There’s another response to that that you’ll read on Thursday 😉 ) Basically, this story is about a women named Briana who sees other people and kind of envies them. She doesn’t really see herself for who she is. She puts on the “businesswoman” persona as well as the “jogger” persona. She’s even tried to diet, but ended up unhappy.

One key thing about this story is the mirror. Briana didn’t like how she looked in the mirror so much that she covered it up with something she rather look at which is really sad. The only thing she can see is her face. After going through the personas, she realizes that she can’t really be something else besides herself. She starts taking off the landscapes and sees herself fully. By taking off what see wants to see, Briana is now faced with the truth, but she’s okay with it this time.

In this story, I never really identify a specific issue, but I still write it with enough descriptions about other things rather than herself. That way, she would be more relatable. I understand that men also have body image issues, but I wrote the narrative in a female voice because I’m more comfortable writing women because I know how to write it better.

The title, Reflective Space, indicates the mirror doesn’t only have to be a place of criticism as people with body image issues struggle with. We dread the mirror, but we can’t stop critiquing ourselves. I didn’t use “Mirror” as the title, because I wanted the mirror to be taken differently.

For anyone who’s struggling with loving your body, know that you’re not alone. Please realize that you are your worst critic and pay no attention to those demeaning thoughts. Instead, treat yourself to something because you deserve it. Make yourself truly smile because that’s the true beauty, finding joy in life. Don’t give up! You are loved.

Carpus

I found the inspiration for this story on Tumblr.

Screen Shot 2016-08-01 at 10.59.59 AM

I thought that was really interesting, so I spun a story around this prompt. I really loved the idea of taking something so simple and making it different and complex. It became really difficult to make sure things made sense and the small world I made up with its little details, made sense. I don’t normally write science-fiction, so I had to make sure I didn’t go overboard on the details and forget about the plot. Let me know what you think!

Basically, this story is about a town/world called Abington and it’s normal for everyone to have tattoos of names on their wrists. (The title means wrist in Latin) One is their soul mate and the other is their enemy, but they don’t know which one is which. When they find their soul mate or enemy, the tattoo fades to a grey. The main character doesn’t like the idea of having to find people she was destined for, so she isolates herself. Meanwhile, her sister, Jenni, quickly catches on and finds her soul mate. The story starts off with a good sisterly relationship, but at the end, their family is broken.

I didn’t really write in a theme because I was busy focusing on properly incorporating the above prompt. There’s a slight theme of belonging and family specifically among sisters. At the end of the story, I leave it hanging, but the story doesn’t end there! This is actually a two part story and I deliberately did this because I had already spent two straight hours writing this already lengthy story. I wanted to keep it as authentic and cautiously pieced together as Carpus. The second part’s title will be: Maryrose and Lucius, so stay tuned!

Thanks for reading the stories!

Stay tuned for an upcoming poetry breakdown!

Alice