Rain Down on Me | Quick Piece

The rain pelted down the windshield, the windshield wipers barely able to catch up with the amount of rain. I continued driving down the interstate with water flying everywhere, but I was at ease for once in my life. An hour ago, I was still inside, but I felt like there was a storm in my heart. My husband and I no longer loved each other, but we just felt trapped in the social norms. Whenever we go outside, we hold hands, but as soon as we step back through the door, our hands immediately separate. Our voices soar high and low only to realize that the neighbors were home. It’s so foolish that we do this, but we hurry down to the basement where there are no windows and no prying neighbors to hear us. We had to maintain the illusion that we were still okay when it definitely wasn’t the case. This time, we chose to yell at each other about the mistake we made when we married each other. The first time I heard that argument, I couldn’t stop crying. By now, all I wanted to do was to keep yelling until he exploded into a million pieces or that he would say that I was right. Wasn’t I right? By the time we were thirty minutes into the argument, we could feel that it was coming to an end. We were too confident in ourselves, the fact that we wouldn’t hesitate to leave each other once the neighbors were gone. Both of us kept a packed suitcase in our cars whenever this situation rose. For the first time and the only time, I felt like the time was now. We sat at opposite ends of the basement, not a word was being exchanged anymore. We had said our good byes long ago, maybe at the alter or maybe the night she appear in my place. The neighbors finally left to take their daughter to dance class and I was the first one out the door. And I drove as fast as I can to anywhere, but there. That morning, the clouds seemed to be looming of something about to happen. This afternoon, the clouds released what they’re intended for.
The rain pelted down the windshield, the wipers barely able to catch up. Tears streamed down my face and I found myself wailing through the storm. What have I done? What have we done? We’ve made mistakes worthy for sentence in a lifetime. Where am I going to go? This was all my fault, but at this point there’s no turning back. Everything that I had said leading up to this moment, the threats, the accusations and the insults, they came from my mouth. I pulled my car over and started to sob harder than ever, releasing my sorrows into the car until I couldn’t stand my own wails. I flung open the door, hoping for some fresh air and was hit with a wave of rainwater. I quickly shut the car door and stood under the rain, feeling each rain drop hitting my face. I let my tears mix with the rain, not worried that my clothes was getting absolutely soaked. I stood under the rain until it suddenly stopped and I quickly got cold. I was about to get back into my car, turn up the heat when a car pulled up in front of mine. A wave of fear pulsed through me, thinking that my husband had found me or even worse, he had seen me sobbing under the rain. Instead of my husband, our neighbors stepped out. I could see her daughter still sitting in the back seat of the car as she got out and walked up to my window. I slowly rolled it down, expecting some questioning. And yet, I was surprised again. She gently said, “Hun, all of us knew. Why were you two hiding it?” I pretended not to know what she’s talking about and muttered that I just got caught in the rain. She laughed in my face and leaned closer and I wanted to close the window on her “Hun, let me help you. Follow my car and we can talk at my house.” I protested and said that I didn’t want to go back home even if it was next door. She rolled her eyes and commanded me to follow her. She pulled away and I reluctantly followed her, passing by familiar streets sending unfriendly reminders. I scowled and pulled into her driveway, daring not to look at my own house. After telling her daughter to play outside, we sat down at the dining room table over two slices of cheesecake she made herself. I didn’t touch it. While she ate, she talked about her college years and how she would date a different guy each week and she made sure to tell them that she loved them before she broke up with them. I thought she was a jerk until she started talking about her husband. She talked about how he was into her, but he had heard about her habits, so he kept at a distance. Then, I thought he was the jerk. Eventually they started dating and it came down the one week period when she decided to break up with him. For the first time, he surprised her by saying, “I never loved you. Why would you tell me that you loved me when I never did? How could you also spend so less time only to end it like this? Are you even trying?” It was the third question that really got to her. With her blue eyes and her soft features, she asked me the same question her then-boyfriend asked her, “Are you even trying?” Then, she simply got up and went outside to join her daughter. I looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly 7 o’clock. Shouldn’t her husband be back by now? I started getting ready to leave when I noticed a picture frame on the wall. It was actually a plaque honoring her husband for the philanthropy work before he passed away. Underneath was a pink sticky note that read, “I love you now.” I quickly left before she could see the tears running down my face. I drove to a nearby hotel and sat in the room, the question resonating in my head. I lay awake for hours, uncertain of what to do, but my mind continued to race with the question.
The next morning, I stood poised in front of my door, my hand raised ready to knock. I knew my husband was home because his car was still in the driveway. I whispered to myself, “I’m ready.”

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One thought on “Rain Down on Me | Quick Piece

  1. Pingback: Rain Down on Me | Quick Piece Breakdown | Perpetual Ponderings of Alice Chen

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