Twenty | January 19, 2016

As of today, I’m no longer a teenager. I’m entering into my third decade and in all honesty, I still feel like I’m 16 years old, excited about being able to drive soon. I still feel like I should be memorizing all the times tables until they were part of each step I took, echoing down the long hall ways and giving me light where to go. I still feel like I’m bumbling around with no direction in where I’m going. To be honest, I still feel like a kid. Yet, my age no longer says “teen”, an awkward adjusting human who is still figuring out things.

Throughout these last ten years of ultimate growth and questioning, I’ve found that the last four years have made a definite impact. I found myself asking who I was many times and afraid of the answer I would get. I found myself constantly angry and not knowing what to do about it, wanting time to go faster but it just dragged behind. I found myself staring at the sky and feeling so small. I found myself being enveloped in hugs and feeling their warmth seeping to me. I found very valuable friends whom I will hold tight to my heart and cherish. I found myself drowning, but coming up into the surface again.

I’m so grateful for each year, each month, each second that I’ve lived. Without each trying moment and tear, I wouldn’t be who I am now. Who knows who I would be when I’m 30? But I know for sure, I’ll be Alice Chen.



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