Peace|Poetry Breakdown

Hello again,

I actually haven’t been doing so well as of yesterday and I was contemplating on postponing this week’s Poetry Breakdown, but I’ve decided on incorporating how I’ve been feeling into this week’s post. This poem is from the 30/30 Poetry Challenge I’ve been doing this month.

Peace

The obvious secret is that
I’m absolutely terrified
with my wide eyes
and trembling hands.
All I want is a tight embrace
and for you to whisper that
everything’s going to be okay.
It’s no secret that I wear a mask
with only my eyes showing through.
You can still see my shaking hands
and hear my soft and uncertain voice.
It’s obvious that I’m very good at
smiling even though all I want to
do is sit in the corner and
advert my eyes.
It’s obvious that all I want is
love and security when I
keep getting in the way.
All I want is
peace.

This poem has to do with my anxiety and how I’m very good at hiding it from people. It deals with conflicting thoughts of what I want and what I feel. The true feeling is that I’m scared and helpless and you can see that from my body language, yet I also can hide it all. Things like anxiety, it’s hard to really hide and the people who know me pretty well can pick up when I’m not doing well. I want to not have depression of course and to just enjoy life, but depression is getting to me, so that nothing really seems interesting.

The sentence, “It’s obvious that all I want is love and security when I keep getting in the way.” I blame myself as the cause of my depression since I am the one with the feeling. I want love and security, but depression gets in the way. The truer feeling is peace and simply rest from depression.

The weather outside is amazing right now, but I kind of just want to sleep and not do anything. It pains me to see myself like this, but I can’t quite pull myself out of this hole. I’m doing my best to keep my spirits up though.

 

Thank you for reading this week’s Poetry Breakdown.

I hope you have a great day!

Alice

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