Depression|Poetry Breakdown

Hello everyone!
Can you believe that February’s almost over? It still feels like the year has just begun. Well, there’s still plenty of time.

By the way, Happy Chinese New Year! I hope your year will be filled with good health!

This poem is called, Depression.

Like a weighted shadow,
it follows and drags you down.
You think nothing of it
because the light is still in front of you.
Yet, you don’t dare turn back
for you know you’ll definitely be lost.
You claw your way through
and pull with your fingernails
in hopes that you’ll get stronger
to break away from that
weighted shadow.
Instead you grow weaker
even when the light is still in front
even when you’ve been pulling yourself through
even when know you’ve been there
done that
You still find yourself
unfeeling
cold
lethargic
waiting
for an end
waiting
for a solution
waiting
for warmth
when all you can see
is your own weight
pulling you down.

 

This is a poem written when depression was really bringing me down. I tried to define it by comparing it to a vicious shadow. The first sentence, describes the starting symptoms of depression in a summary. There doesn’t seem to be escaping it which is why I used the shadow as a comparison. Where there is light, there is also a shadow, but where there isn’t light would mean that you’re plunged into complete darkness and isn’t that just a large, engulfing shadow? Unless you’re a curious child, you don’t walk by constantly staring at the shadow. You walk forward, facing the light that casts the shadow behind you. As for the third sentence, I talk about the thought process of someone who is suffering with depression. Assuming that the light doesn’t move around you and stays in front of you, if you turn around, the shadow will end up behind you. Following a shadow won’t get you anywhere and may sometimes be misleading.

Then, I throw in an adjective, weighted, to shadow making it an even more of a burden after the fighting to get through it. The shadow appears to be engulfing the subject. The subject starts to get weak from fighting and I use parallelism with the reminders that the subject starts telling them self as motivation to continue fighting. The pace of the poem gets faster as the rhythm of the longer breaks changes to only one word. I don’t put a break between lethargic and waiting just because I wanted to continue to fast and panicked pace. There wasn’t a happy ending to this poem because everyday, I’m going through smaller symptoms of depression, but I can push it back at a distance. There are days when it overpowers me and I become absolutely shattered.

I wrote this poem to try and define it, so that it wouldn’t end up defining me.

 

Thank you for reading this week’s poetry breakdown.

Just remember that you aren’t alone.

Alice

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