All There Is|Poetry Breakdown

Hello everyone!

I’ve been quite consistent with Poetry Breakdown and I would love to know what you think! Feel free to leave a comment!

I hope this week has been well for you. At school, the windchill has reached -31 and all the students have learned to bundle up although there is always one person who is walking briskly around with just a sweatshirt and shorts. My midterms are also coming up soon which may seem dreary and tiring, but there is plenty of room for improvement.

“All There Is”

There is the feeling of hope
and the doubt that comes flooding in again, but
it is overtaken by the feeling of love.
I become afraid
of the future.
I become afraid
of loss.
I become afraid
of missing time.
And I swell with questions
and
Love.
Because it is in a small moment
when things fade-
fear, fright, doubt, and worries
and all there is
is Love.

Think of fear like an ocean and each thought of fear comes rolling in like each wave hitting the shore. It doesn’t appear to be ending and with every, “I become…”, I hope to invoke the feeling of being overwhelming with questions, doubts and fears. Yet, there’s one thing that’s not like the other. Among all the negative emotions, there is love.

Love is like the tiny hope left on the bottom of Pandora’s box. Whether the love comes from your significant other or from your family, there always will be love. At times, love can be painful with uncertainty and worry walking hand in hand with the powerful emotion. At times, love can be euphoric and all you can think about is all the good memories. At times, love is trust and understanding and knowing what that person likes and dislikes as well as knowing that their love is genuine. At times, love is sacrificial. Someone’s happiness may be dependent on your own happiness. You may give up time to yourself to spend time with the one you love.

Jesus died for us because He loved us.

I can never understand the full extent of how much He loves me, but I know that He does. We don’t have to ask why or how come. We just have to feel full of His love for us and pour out His love who have never experienced it before. It’s a little intimidating when you go out to tell your friends or people about God, but it doesn’t have to be through words. It can be through kindness, through prayer, through understanding, through friendship.

Know that not only are you loved by your friends and family, you are also loved by God.

 

I hope you all have a great day!

Alice

 

Depression|Poetry Breakdown

Hello everyone!
Can you believe that February’s almost over? It still feels like the year has just begun. Well, there’s still plenty of time.

By the way, Happy Chinese New Year! I hope your year will be filled with good health!

This poem is called, Depression.

Like a weighted shadow,
it follows and drags you down.
You think nothing of it
because the light is still in front of you.
Yet, you don’t dare turn back
for you know you’ll definitely be lost.
You claw your way through
and pull with your fingernails
in hopes that you’ll get stronger
to break away from that
weighted shadow.
Instead you grow weaker
even when the light is still in front
even when you’ve been pulling yourself through
even when know you’ve been there
done that
You still find yourself
unfeeling
cold
lethargic
waiting
for an end
waiting
for a solution
waiting
for warmth
when all you can see
is your own weight
pulling you down.

 

This is a poem written when depression was really bringing me down. I tried to define it by comparing it to a vicious shadow. The first sentence, describes the starting symptoms of depression in a summary. There doesn’t seem to be escaping it which is why I used the shadow as a comparison. Where there is light, there is also a shadow, but where there isn’t light would mean that you’re plunged into complete darkness and isn’t that just a large, engulfing shadow? Unless you’re a curious child, you don’t walk by constantly staring at the shadow. You walk forward, facing the light that casts the shadow behind you. As for the third sentence, I talk about the thought process of someone who is suffering with depression. Assuming that the light doesn’t move around you and stays in front of you, if you turn around, the shadow will end up behind you. Following a shadow won’t get you anywhere and may sometimes be misleading.

Then, I throw in an adjective, weighted, to shadow making it an even more of a burden after the fighting to get through it. The shadow appears to be engulfing the subject. The subject starts to get weak from fighting and I use parallelism with the reminders that the subject starts telling them self as motivation to continue fighting. The pace of the poem gets faster as the rhythm of the longer breaks changes to only one word. I don’t put a break between lethargic and waiting just because I wanted to continue to fast and panicked pace. There wasn’t a happy ending to this poem because everyday, I’m going through smaller symptoms of depression, but I can push it back at a distance. There are days when it overpowers me and I become absolutely shattered.

I wrote this poem to try and define it, so that it wouldn’t end up defining me.

 

Thank you for reading this week’s poetry breakdown.

Just remember that you aren’t alone.

Alice

Self-Writing|A Quick Piece

As a writer, I find myself being very observant of everything from the way people talk to the way things are casually placed in a room. Whenever somebody talks, I am more intrigued in the way their eyes light up or slant downwards or how their mouth may curve upwards slightly. I feel a little sorry when I find myself drifting away from the conversation, but I’ve learned to multi-task. I would watch their hands and how they could move about their face or they could twitch while speaking like a bolded emphasis on the word. I would watch their feet and mentally compliment on their choice of shoes. I would see if their toes would be pointed towards me or if they appeared as if they wanted to leave in the immediate vicinity. If I were to share this with just anyone, I would appear very judgmental when I am simply being observant. I take pieces from life and I add them to my writing to give them more life. I take emotions and I try to squash them down into tangible words, but the words are never a true representation of what it feels like. I consider it a victory when I have satisfactorily managed to capture emotion and the way a body moves naturally just the way life flows. It may be choppy at times, but nothing is always smooth. To write is to live through things and to make things live.

 

 

Friends|Poetry Breakdown

Hello, everyone! I hope your day has been well!

“Friends”

There are times when
we’re all together
and it feels like an episode of Friends-
With all its dynamics
but with a good mixture of
pure friendship.
We would talk about our dreams
our complaints,
ourselves
and nothing else would matter
except each other.
There are times when we’re not together
and it feels like the world is so empty
without the laughter
and the endless support.
I miss even the teasing
and the incredible way
we just fit together like a jenga tower
or intertwined pages of telephone books.
There is so much strength
and stability that if one falls
not only would we all topple, but
we would make sure to catch each other.

I recently started watching Friends and I wondered why I didn’t watch it earlier. The show is so timeless and the characters are so dynamic with the problems they go through and they also talk to us, the viewers as if we’re part of their friend group. I wrote this poem inspired by the characters of the show.

I jump right into the poem with the comparison to my own friend group to the Friends friend group. I start to define the basis of friendship with the trust and vulnerability that friendship offers. I also parallel “There are times…” with my friends being present and not being present.

Even though Jenga towers don’t seem stable at all, they manage to get very high and the game is usually played with a good amount of people. If you’ve ever watched they episodes of Mythbusters, they do an experiment where they put two telephone books together by putting one page over each other, so they’re are intertwined with each other. It ended up being very difficult to separate. Friendship can be very hard to separate and if one falls, someone will be sure to catch them. That’s what friends are for.

Thank you for reading this week’s Poetry Breakdown!

Tree|Poetry Breakdown

Hello everyone and happy February! If you haven’t noticed, February is a very solid looking month with the first of February starting on a Sunday and the twenty-eighth of February ending on a Saturday.

This poem is titled, “Tree”.

There once was a tree
and there was another tree.
They were a forest.
There once was an egg
and there were eleven more.
They were a dozen.
There once was a candle
and there were hundreds of candles lit up in the night sky.
They were held in memory.
There once was a friend
and they fell in love.
They became family.
When loneliness turns into unity,
there will always be one, but one becomes
solidarity.

This was a weird poem for me to write since it doesn’t really have much depth. To me, this is not my best piece because it’s not really my writing style and it feels choppy. I also wrote this when I had no idea what to write.

A go on throughout the poem with a bunch of analogies with ordinary things- tree, egg and candle. The tree and the egg turn to things that are generally associated with the tree and egg. The analogy with the candle is quite sad and hopeful at the same time. I’m not very specific of who, what and why the candles were held up in memory, but that’s sort of the surprise part of the poem. That  part of the poem is pretty unexpected since in my opinion, a common thought with candles would be on a cake, celebrating a birthday. Instead, I opted for a bittersweet picture. I turn back to a happier picture with the friends becoming lovers just to say as if that bittersweet picture didn’t happen.

Then, it’s the part I’m not really happy with how I wrote it. I remember revising that one sentence over and over again until I reached something that I could tolerate. It’s generally the conclusion, the motto, the meaning of the mess of analogies that I put in the poem. I wrote this poem for my writing class last semester and apparently my writing professor really liked it. He wrote, “Wow- Really admiring/envious of set up-so cagey and mysterious-could see you tweaking pattern without letting air out” After I wrote out the tree part, I did try to make a pattern with a surprise in the middle. I didn’t really plan out the last sentence though.

Generally, this poem is not my style and I had the mind-set in trying to direct this into the alternative literature genre, which is not my comfort zone and it came out kind of awkward. Nevertheless, I never did attempt to try to write in the alternative literature genre again.

Thanks for reading my Poetry Breakdown for this week!

By the way, I hope none of my own opinions about my poems affect how you read the poem. I’m pretty critical of my own pieces.

I hope you have a great day!

Alice

“The pain that you have been feeling can not compare to the joy that is coming.”

I found this quote in the depths of Tumblr without a name to put to this truthful statement. Sometimes, we just need a reminder of greater things that are going to come when we’re just caught up in the mess of the world. A reminder to take a step back and peek back , realizing just how far you’ve come. A reminder to stretch from the piles of work in front of us and to let oxygen flow to your brain again. A reminder to remember who or what you’re working for.

There’s a beginning for everything and not all beginnings are easy. When we first come into this world, we’re pretty much helpless. We can’t fend for ourselves, we can’t feed ourselves and we can’t communicate efficiently. Yet, with proper aid and nourishment, we grow up to be amazing human beings who are able to fend for ourselves and help others. Without a beginning, then we wouldn’t exist! Also, of all the TV shows we’ve watched, most of the first episodes do not compare with the rest of the series since they’re usually awkward and you don’t really know what’s happening. As the series progresses, you get to know the characters more and how they solve whatever gets thrown at them. You find out how they handle certain situations and you think to yourself, I can do that too and that’s when you decide that they’re your heroes- the ones you look up to.

We’ve heard of the phrase, “It gets better.” I feel like this quote goes more into depth about that simple and overlooked quote. The it, your pain, is going to get better, hence, more joy will come your way. Pain and joy are opposing  feelings, but you won’t be in pain for a prolonged time. When you get a cut, you initially feel the stinging pain and it starts to throb after a while.  After a week or so, it goes away and heals. You certainly remember how it felt when you got the cut , but it’s not there anymore. There is healing in the injury process, but the initial pain doesn’t stay. It could linger a little longer than you expect, but it will heal.

Unfortunately, while pain isn’t permanent, so is joy. Joy isn’t permanent, but that’s what contrasts pain and joy. Without the presence of pain, how would you know what joy feels like? If all you felt was joy, would you realize that it was joy? Whatever you’re feeling that’s causing you to trip right now, just know that you’re feeling it just so that the joy you’ll feel would be greater and worth it.

When you’re in the healing process and recovering from immense pain, joy may be so far and so difficult to find. It’s times like these when we’re tested for our patience and perseverance. All we want at that moment is relief and the feeling of joy once again, but it just seems to be missing. After going through a long period of pain and waiting and the time of joy and relief comes, you come through wiser. Those features are worth the wait so that you can encourage others who may also be stuck in the muck of pains.

So, take heart and it gets better. Hang in there.

Alice

More information:

James 1:2-8

James 1:12

EDIT: On further investigation of the origins of this quote, I found out that it came from Romans 8:18, English Standard Version!