5 Am|Poetry Breakdown

Hello everyone! It’s Poetry Breakdown time!

“5 Am”

I once wrote a poem
when it was 5 am
because my mind was swarmed with
flies buzzing about- speaking of
what once had been.
In an attempt to match the noise inside my
resounding head,
I gathered them up and threw
them against the page forming
rounded and jagged statements
which had somehow fit in there.
The sun peaks over the horizon
just as I began to peak over sanity, but fear not
for I have structured a puddle of my mind
into competent letters which do fit
inside this head.

I didn’t actually write this poem at 5 am, but I did write a poem when it was 5 in the morning. I was on a class trip and after a long day, I had trouble sleeping and I woke up at 5 in the morning and the sun was starting to come up. Everyone in the room was still asleep of course and I knew I wasn’t going to be going back to sleep anytime soon, so I decided to make use of my time. I wrote the poem on one of those free pieces of stationary that you get at hotels. I wrote this poem based on what I was feeling at that moment. I have to admit that this poem feels slightly dramatic when in reality, I was felt quite peaceful and a little annoyed that I woke up at such an inconvenient time.

The poem starts off kind of simple. “I once wrote a poem/when it was 5 am…” Then, I wrote an analogy to all the garbled thoughts in my head by comparing them to flies. Flies are obnoxious bugs and they always fly around your ear while buzzing just to drive you crazy. In the next sentence, I try to write my thoughts out to give myself relief from my thoughts. The last sentence talks about how as the sun rises, I’m tired, but glad that I’ve settled with the thoughts inside of my head.

Writing this poem was a result of not knowing what to write for the prompt that day, which was 5 am. I knew I wanted to incorporate sunrise in the poem, but I didn’t want it to sound too sappy and longing. Instead, I went for disorder with the unusual usage of adjectives and imagery. Disorder is prevalent in the piece, but it also has some sort of rhythm to the piece. I also didn’t care too much about my overall structure of my poem and how it sounded. When I wrote it, I didn’t think it was too great and now I consider it one of my favorite pieces.

 

Thank you for reading this week’s poetry breakdown. I’ve actually written this in April for the 30/30 Poetry Challenge. I’m currently working on a poetry series called Colors which is basically a poem about every color and written in the format of “Green”

I hope you have a nice day!

Alice

PS. I publish Poetry Breakdowns every Thursdays at 2:30pm EST.

Poetry|Poetry Breakdown

Hello again! I hope you’ve been having a good day! If not, then don’t worry, it’ll get better. Just breathe and focus in the present. Don’t let your problems overwhelm you too much.

Yes, I really did write a poem about poetry. It was due to a spontaneous discussion that I brought up in the infamous writing class. For the majority of the class, we talked about what really defined a poem and in response, I decided to write this poem.

“Poetry”

What makes poetry, poetry, you ask?
And I would ask you back,
“Is it how it flows out of your mouth and into your ears like liquid gold?
Is it the beat of the words that sound to the heart driving the blood throughout the body?
Is it the way each individual word is placed, so it becomes art?
Is it how it brings you to a feeling you’ve never felt before, but it still feels right?
Is it when your head explodes and you don’t have time to pick up the pieces?”
You would furrow your brows and frown.
You walk away with something intangible.
You sit at your desk with your hand poised with a pen
and you place the intangible into
something more tangible and
that is poetry.

I wrote this poem like someone is having a conversation with me although as I go through the questions, it seems like a one-sided conversation. All these questions are analogies of how I think poetry should feel. Gold is pretty valuable and to have it flow through your ears and mouth can be both rewarding and painful. Imagine molten gold pouring through you. It would kill you and I suppose poetry can have that effect on someone if the subject of the poem is that truthful. I also compare it to the heart which is a vital organ as to suggest that poetry is vital to life. In the third question, I ask if each word has its own purpose in the poem just like how each brushstroke is important to a painting or how each carving is important to the sculpture. You could put in the word, forever, but you could also put in the word, perpetual. Even though the meanings is similar, it would change the tone of the piece.

Have you ever gone to a place and you just knew that you belonged there even though you have never been there before? It just feels like home even though it is clearly not the home you’re familiar with.  I suppose with my fourth question, it’s to invoke that feeling. You read that piece and you just know that all the words are in the right places and the rhythm is right. I can say that that feeling is one of the most satisfactory feelings for a writer.

I jump back to the fact that poems can be very impacting and powerful with the fifth question when you’re mind-blown. After reading some poems, the ending meaning is so powerful, you sit back and realize what the poem was saying. This can also happen with a novel. You don’t have time to pick up the pieces of your brain because you’re still in awe of the poem. This question was a little graphic, but in class, we talked about how poems can be mind-blowing and I took that metaphor and made it literal.

The conversation continues with your reaction and no dialogue from your side. I don’t actually answer the very first question of what makes poetry poetry. Instead, I just give sort of an answer to what I poem could be when it could be many things. Poems don’t have to be in a specific structure or have intricate words and analogies. I think the main thing with poetry is feeling and whether you would call it a poem. Just like how you would call yourself a writer. If you write, then you’re a writer. If you think that what you write fits your definition of a poem, then it’s a poem.

And so, that is the end of my poetry breakdown this week. I hope you liked it and that it helped you understand the poem. What do you think makes poetry poetry?

Alice

Green|Poetry Breakdown

Hello again! I hope you are all well and not being bombarded by the harsh winter too much!

“Green”

This is the color of hope
of life
and of envy.
It tells the humble story of a peasant
and ends with the rich and greedy king.
It screams about the deadly poison ravaging through someone’s veins
and how the slimy green potion is meant to kill.
This is the color and not the only color of eyes
and how in some, it may shimmer and in others it may be a highlight.
It tells you how healthy plants may be and how they glow in the sunlight
and how the grass looks even softer than your own bed at times.
It was used by cartoonists to depict a great stink with a long wafting trail from point A to point B.
It told you if someone could claim a garden as their own or
if they wished that lover was in their arms.
Green.

If you think about colors, you know that we associate the name of the color with objects and images. It’s pretty difficult to describe a color without saying its name and using other objects as an example. With this poem, I’ve basically challenged myself to write about the color without saying the color. Well, I did use the name once, but that was just a summary in case the reader didn’t understand that I was writing about the color green. It’s also my favorite color.

As a symbol in literature, green represents new life like plants as well as envy and greed. In Disney films, the color green is often associated with evil. It’s kind of two-faced with good characteristics and bad characteristics.

Then, I go on to talk about peasants and a king. I always pictured peasants wearing kind of a forest green cloak as they huddled around, picking firewood for their humble huts. When I picture a king wearing green, I picture an emerald green with greed surrounding the king and it usually isn’t a good picture. With that kind of green, I see greed instead of the humble and subtle forest green.

In the next line, I talk about someone who is poisoned. In cartoons, poison is sometimes depicted as a slimy green that replaces the healthy red blood in the person’s veins. Green can also be the color of some people’s eyes, but it’s not the same green as the grass. It’s more of a golden shimmer or a blue tint or it could even be a subtle detail.

In the summer, when there is plenty of sunshine and when the grass thrives, it appears to be a very vivid green. I remember lying in the grass and never wanting to get up because everything was so perfect from the temperature to the blue skies with white clouds. I was perfectly at peace until the bugs started wondering what I was doing in their perfect world.

I go back to exaggeration of the usage of green in cartoons and this time, I think of when something is especially smelly and it leaves a visible trail from the smeller to the stinker. The cartoon would follow the trail with their nose up in the air until their find the thing in a trash can. Finally, I talk about plants and how proud you would be if you saw your own garden, healthy and green and I talk about the symbolic meaning of green- jealousy.

I must say that I’m pretty proud of this piece since it’s a style I’m the most comfortable with, but with a prompt that’s a little difficult. I feel like this poem gave off a lyrical tone that flowed neatly with each representation of the color I put in. This poem is just a pile of things and symbols that contain different hues of green that could have so many different connotations. Maybe I’ll do all the colors to further this color series.

Thank you for reading this week’s Poetry Breakdown and I’ll see you next week for another Poetry Breakdown.

Alice

Voice|Mentality

To be a quiet person, to be practically hidden in this loud world, is not usually looked upon favorably. People beg and plead for you to simply hear your voice, to give an opinion and to leave a mark on the world. Yet sometimes, I just want to listen, observe and absorb and my voice is not always needed. It becomes a personality trait and sometimes a hindrance since people are always pushing my voice out and if I don’t, then they assume I’m keeping it all to myself. The simplest reason is that I really don’t have anything to say or add to the current conversation. It may also be that I am not really comfortable given whatever situation I may be in.  It seems to be going along well without my input and I’m okay with it. When the attention is directed to me, I’ll answer quickly and to the point, but I also feel a little pressured since I’m not a regular talker and my voice gets stuck into the spotlight and everything I say, seems to be monitored.

To be a talkative person, is not something I can usually attest to, but if one continually talks without a break for others, then they would maybe be seen as wanting for all the attention. They may be seen as too quick to jump without waiting for a conclusion. They may be viewed as unfair. When in reality, they may be excited to share their thoughts and they may also feel comfortable with the audience. Given whatever situation they may be in, they could be the only one talking because they’re telling a really interesting story and no one wants to interrupt.

 

What should you do?

Just be yourself

 

 

Alice

 

Letter to Myself|Poetry Breakdown

Hello again, I suppose I’ve restarted the series again.

I wrote this poem for my writing class and it’s titled, Letter to Myself.

If you were to get anything out of your friend’s words,
from the memories to the deep intellectual conversations,
please remember this: Don’t worry.
They really mean it and they really do care about you.
Don’t doubt it. There’s a reason you’re friends.
If you were down in the dumps again and all you want
are familiar faces so you won’t feel so alone,
please remember this: Don’t worry.
The clichéd saying goes, you aren’t alone, but think of all the brilliant inside jokes you have
as well as the memories that just like to keep adding onto each other.
They won’t forget about you.
If you were to think about what career path you’re going to take and if you wanted the small house or the mansion and how many children you may want,
please remember this: Don’t worry
Because it doesn’t get you as far as your dreams would.

 

I like to think of this poem as a “happily-ever after” poem. What I mean by that is that it invokes feelings of hope and satisfaction just like a fairy tale with a happily ever after ending. I wrote this poem mainly to reassure myself because every time I talk to my friend about the troubles I’m having, he responds with “don’t worry”. And I’m sure people have these doubts as well.

There is a specific structure to this poem and that could be one of the reasons, it may be my most poetic sounding piece. There’s only one stanza, but if you did break it into stanzas, the poem would have three stanzas. Each “thought” starts with an if-statement that would be something that could potentially be a thought to occur in your mind. Then, I stuck in the comforting thought, the pat on the back followed with the repeating, Don’t worry. I sandwiched Don’t doubt it between the don’t worry just to keep things fresh. This poem is quite a straight forward poem with a resounding message. I gave it the title,Letter to Myself” because like I said before, to not worry is a reminder that I constantly need. If I were to send out the letter, it would be sent to my past self, my present self and my future self. And I feel like I’m not alone with my need for the reminder.

I hope you liked this Poetry Breakdown and the poem and I’ll try to maintain this series in the new year.

 

Alice