Maze|Poetry Breakdown

Hello again! It’s time to rip apart one of my poems again!

The poem I have chosen is called, Maze and It was my first piece I wrote for my writing class.

Almost like a child,
she shook with nervousness
instead of excitement.
The sleepless nights were of
worries and doubts instead of
joyful images of what would be
fantasies that revolved around
being a hero.
Almost like a child,
she feels overwhelmed by thought
instead of by size.
Her neck was not craning
to look upon the wise, but
she felt crushed-pressured
by the weight falling from all directions.
Now she is sobbing for greater things
than dirty clothes or mean bullies.
She worries for the sake of letting go.
She feels overwhelmed for the sake of growing up.
She is not a child.
She is an adult
and the world just seems even
bigger to the point that
everything is like a
maze.

I wrote this piece on the second day of classes and I was quite uneasy about the idea of college. I suppose I still am now, but I’m doing better than I was before. I didn’t like being around so many people with things moving so quickly. I didn’t like the prospect of keeping up with my friends through text messages and through Skype because even though I could connect with them, I still wasn’t with them. I also didn’t like how a majority of the campus were extroverts and that was quite difficult for me since I needed my time to be alone. There wasn’t a lot of moments in which I could find time alone since I had a roommate.  In college, I felt kind of trapped. Now, I suppose I’ve gotten used to the craziness and I’m not really surprised by anything except for the loud police sirens throughout the day.

This poem reflected how I felt during the first week of school. I felt trapped like there was no way out and I didn’t want to accept my responsibilities that seemed inevitable. I didn’t feel prepared at all and everything was being handed to me without any prep work. In reality, I had been preparing for my entire life, but I guess I was being ignorant to the truth of growing up. Sadly enough, I can’t stay naive and ignorant forever because things are going to come at me and I need to be prepared or not. I know I will be exposed to things whether I like it or not and I guess that’s the way  this “reality” works.

And it seemed to me that everyone couldn’t wait for college while I kind of dreaded it. I didn’t really know what to expect. I had trouble adjusting, so I had difficulties sleeping and I compared that with the anticipation of a 5 year old, the night before the first day of kindergarten with the first night before my first day of classes. There’s a great contrast between the two.

So, that’s basically my back story of why I wrote this poem. It’s pretty pessimistic regarding my viewpoint on college and I’m sorry about that. It’s been difficult for me to adjust even though it’s been 2 months.

 

Thank you for reading this week’s Poetry Breakdown and I’ll see you all soon.

 

Alice

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