Today is a Thursday and I have not published a Poetry Breakdown. I’m going to be honest here and say that I’ve started to get caught up in going through the motions. It’s been one month since I’ve moved in to college and I’ve had enough time to settle in.
And yet, I haven’t gone to church on Sunday.
I have a wonky sleep schedule.
My posts for Poetry Breakdown have become quite irregular.
I don’t have any friends.
The only things I have been doing after I come back from class is spending my energy on relaxing and studying. My studying would consist of reading through the notes or filling in whatever I missed during the lecture. I admit that I have not been doing everything for the Lord, but rather for my own sake. The two times I went to Campus Crusade, I thoroughly enjoyed, but I failed to be consistent with it because I somehow convinced myself that I was too busy for God. How can I be too busy for the Lord, the creator of the universe? What would I possibly be doing that would require my heart, soul and mind that’s not for the Lord?
I’m going through the motions.
Every day, I wake up and I get ready to go to class. Once I get to class, I try to take as many notes as I can through the professor quickly flipping through the slides. Then, I simply go home and watch a bunch of videos to unwind. I have still been writing down my prayers, but even that has become a simple routine.
Lord, help me break out of this habit and dedicate my life all to You because You are all that matters.
I knew I didn’t want to do poorly in my classes like I did in high school, but I’ve dedicated so much of my time to class that I don’t even know where I stand. I want to do well, but not be trapped and become like a lifeless student. I am not defined by what I study or my major. I am not defined by my sadness or my scars. I am not defined by the amount of money I spend or what I wear.
I know that I am loved God.
My behavior, the nonchalant motions, do not reflect how much I love God for all the love He has poured upon me.
I have become lazy.
Lord, please break me and mold me so that I may become more like You. I cannot do this on my own, but I require your help. Please help me.
So, I’m going to start from the beginning again. From the moment I wake up until when I place my head on my pillow and close my eyes, I want to glorify the Lord in all that I do.
1. Read one chapter of the Bible everyday.
2. Continue writing down my prayers.
3. Give thanks to the Lord before meals and classes
4. Dedicate one hour to devotion and prayer. Just quiet time for the Lord.
5. Help others.
It has been one month at school and I want to do the rest of the year better than this month. And I challenge you all to do the same.
“All for one, and all for one.”
If I find myself falling behind again, I will be even more determined to get myself right. I am not perfect, but the Lord is. He loves me and I am not worth anything, but He saved me, so I must dedicate my life, my time, my everything for Him.
I’m going to end this post with one of my all time favorite verses.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”