I’m going to start a new thing in which I’m going to break down one of my poems at least once a week. By doing so, it’s going to help me understand my own writing as well as for other people to understand my poems. Like I said in my previous post, my writing contains many snippets of my life. So, with this “poetry breakdown” series, I guess you’ll pick up parts of my life.
The poem I want to break down is called Enclosure.
Storm clouds roll in
and a rumble increases through the hills.
Shadows grow long
and I am afraid.
Where does one find light
when darkness creeps in?
A loud crack
and I am entranced.
I have fallen under the spell
of flashing lights
and blank stares.
Where does one go
when one is ensnared?
Rain pours down into my open mouth
and I am drowning.
Tears stream down my face
and I grip the sodden ground.
I am drowning.
Where does one go
when there is nowhere else
I wrote this poem when I was feeling rather blue because I was really confused about a lot of things. A friend once told me to write when I was upset and I’ve always done so and I can tell you that writing really works.
I started this poem with an analogy of a tempest to anguish because everything became dark and clouded together. Yet, I didn’t describe the thunder as a booming thunder; I utilized the word “rumbling” just how a thunderstorm is built up. When the roar hasn’t been fully built up yet and it was still a small rumble. The anger hasn’t been full blown yet. It was just kept inside and it was a complete torment to house a storm that was starting to build up and was obviously going to be a large storm.
I continued with shadows as if I am a small child cowering in a small lit corner as the shadows start closing in on him. If you haven’t noticed already, I really like to use analogies. They just make things easier to understand. So, that child is stuck in a corner and is left with no where else to go. That child would be terrified of acceding shadows threatening to steal his feet. And I pose a question. “Where does one find light when darkness creeps in?” which translates to “How shall I find hope?”
The loud crack is supposed to be denoted of the thunder first mentioned in the first sentence. And the fourth sentence means that I haven’t accepted my fear, rather I have fallen under temptations. I am captivated by that feeling of loss. I don’t really know how to explain it. It’s an unhealthy addiction to the “blue feeling” because I suppose you don’t really do anything and you just sink deeper and deeper into your problems. It’s an inconvenient way of not confronting your problems. Like it’s staring at you in the face, but you just lie down. I pose a straight forward question of “Where does one go when one is ensnared?” I usually associate the word ensnare with animals, preferable small game. I have become helpless.
It has come to the point where I am too lazy to close my mouth from my screams of anguish that has finally poured out from inside of me. The storm still continues, but it is drowning me from the inside out and from external circumstances. “Tears stream down my face and I grip the sodden ground.” I realized that what I have been doing was wrong, but I seem to be trapped and now there is no escape. The harrowing three word sentence, “I am drowning.” I accepted my fate. I have given up.
And I ask one last question of loss
“Where does one go when there is nowhere else to reside?”
I lost myself and I need a home.
With that, concludes my poetry breakdown. I never expected my poetry to be this in depth now that I think about it. When I write poetry, I just…feel and write it down. Not exactly the best poetry writing advise, but I guess if you can transfer your feelings into words, then you understand that feeling and you wish to or you have already contained it.